Thanksgiving and Letting Go of Expectations

"Rejoice in all circumstances, again I say rejoice!" Philippians 4:4

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Thanksgiving is here. The beginning of the season where we focus on giving thanks. And we are thankful, right? But what happens when in between those moments of thanksgiving, we realize that our expectations are not being met at all and it hurts? We feel unloved, discounted, or generally of little value. What then?

What then, indeed. That's when negative feelings grow if we don't take them in hand, and our personal feelings of unworthiness and bitterness can take root -- and if not stopped quickly can dig in so deep that it takes the equivalent of a backhoe at full strength to rip those ugly roots out. And ugly they are. All because of unmet expectations.

But we should be able to expect certain things, right? How about expecting family to get along, and express common courtesy? How about kindness, putting family before personal desires, and just showing up? Shouldn't we have those expectations of others? Sure, common courtesy and kindness need to be expressed, but should we EXPECT IT? People are people. We do and say things that we regret afterward, might others do the same and regret it? We want grace and forgiveness offered to us, can't we offer the same back?

But, I got off subject. Back to those expectations. Take some time today to think through the expectations you have for your family gathering. Do you have a picture in your head of how you think it will go? Do you have the "Norman Rockwell" painting of expectations?

Click photo for Christmas pjs.

The family smiling, happy, loving, and so caring, the kids playing together with joy, never a bicker or whine to be heard? No messy politics or differing religion, or other messy social chaos brought up? Do you picture deep conversations and affection, along with feeling appreciated and loved? We all want that. I do at least. And for a long time, that was my expectation at every family gathering.

Never happened. Oh, we never came to blows or left with hard feelings, but my expectations were also never met, in part because people are people, and also, because some of it was coming from my need to be known deeply, something only God could fulfill. But I put the weight of that on others, and they always failed me. Just as I fail them.

Then one day I looked at the upcoming holidays. I didn't know which kids would make it home, which would be at their inlaws, which would decide they just couldn't do it this year. And I started praying about my dreams and desires for the holiday. And I gave it all up to God. I just handed it over and asked Him to do with it what he wanted. I was done expecting anything from anyone.

Guess what? That was the start of a great holiday, with me realizing how my expectations not only weighed me down when they went unmet, but I was putting the burden of my emotions onto others--unknowingly to them! How unfair is that?

Now that I have lifted those expectations, I can have joy, regardless. I am not constantly bombarded with negative emotions, because something I wanted didn't happen. I am content. I realize that my value and emotional health are not dependent on what someone else does or says, or doesn't do. And that is a great place to start and walk through the holidays.

What are your expectations for the coming holidays? Are you willing to release them to God and rest, content in Him? I would love hearing your thoughts in the comments.

Blessings Friends!